My heart is driving me. If giving up comforts can possibly equal helping even one precious family…
I have skills, I have energy, I have desire and I want to believe in myself. I was born in the 50’s, I grew up in the 60’s, so it was natural to question the ‘status quo’. Did I want that? Will that give me satisfaction?
Then in the 90’s I became a missionary. Did that give me satisfaction? I discovered that I did not fit that mold either.
But where I did find satisfaction was ‘with the people’. Riding my horse, carrying medicine into the hills, helping rebuild homes after a devastating hurricane in Nicaragua (see photo above). The days I was ‘out there’, involved, bringing hope and love, that is where I fit. Have I changed the world? Not much, but I think I have helped change some lives, helped people begin to believe in themselves again, improved their quality of life at least a bit, and that is better than the remote control of my big TV, even better than a nice comfortable big bed (oh, but that is sooooo nice and I love it).
Sometimes when I am sitting in my Wagon, wondering where to go to work on my laptop, or wondering where to get a good cup of coffee without paying five dollars, or hesitating to humbly ask one of my kids for a space on their couch, again..I pause and think maybe I am just crazy. But I believe. Not yet enough in myself, but I believe that there is a God and He has called me, He has trained me and that I have work to do, work set aside for me. If I do not step out and jump off this cliff of faith, the work will get done, but I will miss out, greatly.
I believe in people. I very hesitantly believe that when I ask, the resources will be given and I can GO and DO and maybe some others will come with me and then they will begin to believe in themselves and they too will bring hope and they too will bring along others…
Just like when I used to have all my babies born at home – when people asked me about it, I always tried to be quick to say, ‘it is not for everyone’. This too, is not for everyone. But sometimes I get lonely, doing my thing, and maybe by writing about my journey, I can encourage you and then maybe you can encourage me! I would love to receive feedback, I would love to hear what gives you satisfaction and i would even invite questions about what the heck I am doing….maybe this is a new way to have pen pals! (oh, did that show my age??)
4 thoughts on “WHY DID I GIVE UP MY HOME?”
I love this! I, too, moved here to Nica with our family to be “missionaries”, then realized after a year or so, that that label wasn’t exactly accurate. We wanted to live and give back and “missions” is always on the mind. . .isn’t that why we are here. But doing the daily life with friends and family in a way that we can be of service to others, in a place we love and now call home. . .sometimes it looks missional. . .sometimes mundane. The beauty of life is not WHAT we DO, as much as HOW and WHY. Being exactly where God calls you to GO. I can’t wait to hear more about your work. We’d love to connect with you sometime in person. 🙂
That is a very good way to describe it. Hello and glad to meet you! What part of Nicaragua do you live? I work in the Rivas/Tola area and my daughter lives in San Juan del Sur. I will be in Nicaragua for part of October through beginning of December. We lived in Nicaragua for nine years in Carazo as missionaries and moved back to the states in 2002. I have been going back and forth since, and will be there much more now.
What about you?
I was so sorry that I could not be at the Freedom Center when you came, but I can read your blog. It is very inspiring. You are doing what God wants you to do. Keep it up. I’ll stay with your journey, if you let me. Please take care!
Hi there Nancy! I am sorry I missed you also. That night was a great blessing in many ways. Thanks for the encouraging words – I will love you to come along with me!