A Day in the Capital-Managua

October 4, 2018February 2, 2020 / Nicalady / Leave a comment

I treated myself to a haircut and pedicure today. My taxi driver friend picked me up and is escorting me wherever I want to go.

It is a strange atmosphere here in Managua. I would call it SOBER .
The hair shop where i go is usually very busy and I always have to wait. Today it was different. Hardly anyone there and nobody was joking and laughing like before. SOBER. I mean, the stylists were friendly and as always, did a great job. But no smiles. There was a tension.

As I rode with my Taxi friend, I noticed something – how could I not. There were non-smiling police everywhere. EVERYWHERE; Lined down the roads.

I still have a dentist appt but there was a gap of 2 hours between appointments (due to the less time required for my first appt). What to do? I got dropped off at the big, popular Mall – Galeria. (I had already resolved to shop in only particular stores.) The atmosphere here is so SOBER.

I am hungry so I came to the restaurant part. Well, maybe I won’t take photos but it is empty. So empty.
And not even music playing. Que triste.

Please understand that, by nature, the Nica people are a welcoming people. I always feel like they ‘See’ me. But today people are introspective.

What effect has this experience had on me? Am I tempted to find another country to experience? NO WAY. These are my people and I am theirs.

My heart is heavy but I will hold on tight to HOPE and the FAITH that there is still the amazing Divine Presence that has guided me here for so many years and also has given me so many stories to share. We here are NOT abandoned. The future is still coming and the Nica smiles will once again shine, and when they do, so will mine.

FAMILY

September 19, 2018 / Nicalady / 2 Comments

Presenting my children

I made it to San Jose, Costa Rica with a few good stories to add to my collection. Those are coming up in the next posts. But I think the most important post that I can write is about my family, specifically my ten children and their families (being I just left the states where I was with many of them). I truly without a doubt could not do what I do without their support and patience and love and acceptance. I travel between Nicaragua and the states for my job and for my life. I do not mind when one of my children move because then I can get to know a new place! I have children in Nicaragua, Denver, San Antonio, and Austin. Also great siblings in Florida and Michigan. I can travel to my heart’s content! I borrowed and kept for my own a saying years ago: “I get by with a little help from my friends.” because my family ARE my best friends.

Almost everyone is here

I have lived for the last couple of years without a home and without a vehicle (due to the desire to be able to follow my heart). And without burdening anyone too much. How do I do that? Family. I stay at each home for just enough time to love on them and their kids and visit and catch up and then I am gone. It is me who keeps the clock running, not them. I have this thing that I never want to be a burden to anyone. They offer to lend me their vehicles and drop me off at the airports.(I am believing for a van next). Most of all, they love me just as I am. They listen, they engage, they speak the truth in love and give solid advice. I love my family.

Surrounded by almost all my grandchildren

Please note this. I am a single mom (for the last many years) with ten children and soon to be nine grandchildren and I DO NOT REGRET any of it! We may have been kinda poor when they were growing up, they just might have worn many hand-me-downs. But did we go on adventures!! Anything I wanted to do, I just took them along. You CAN raise a big family without lots of money. I repeat YOU CAN RAISE A BIG FAMILY WITHOUT LOTS OF MONEY.

So, here is advice from a woman who has already lived a full life. The best thing you can give is your love. Look what I am reaping! And believe me, I dragged them to maybe too many places and worked too hard helping others outside the family. But it is okay.

Love covers all.

unfolding nicaragua 2016 (Adri and Lilly)

July 6, 2016July 6, 2016 / Nicalady / 2 Comments

I had the extreme privilege of traveling to my beloved Nicaragua with my two oldest granddaughters. My oldest daughter will be married on July 9th on the beach here and we came a few weeks earlier than the rest of the clan. Adri (11yrs in the blue cap) lived here when she was younger, but Lilly (9 yrs- yellow cap) has only been here once when she was 2 years old.

I love to travel on buses, walk the dusty roads, eat fritanga on the curbside, stay with friends in tiny pueblos and even bathe out of a bucket if necessary. I was curious how my girls would handle the extreme differences from their lives in San Antonio, Texas. So many differences, especially very limited access to the internet on their phones and Nana’s (that’s me) Nica lifestyle. I was honored that both set of parents gave their blessings for my plans of adventure. 🙂

We stayed at a beach house without running water and the necessity of mosquito netting and thank God for FANS. We walked a long way on a beautiful empty beach (Guasacate) and discovered great shells for them to carry home. I was most excited to take them to my dear friend, Martita Romero’s home in a tiny pueblo to spend the night. The wonderful Nicaraguan hospitality reigned and the gallo pinto, queso and fresco was delicious. Lilly saw Martita hand sewing a pillow when we arrived and whispered to me that she wanted to learn how to do that. The next morning she managed to communicate this desire (even though she is just learning Spanish). Before I knew it, the ladies of the house cleared their entire day for us and even brought the sewing machine from next door. Adri and Lilly will never forget that day, I promise.

We went home, riding buses and taxis, dirty clothes and all, but tired and very happy. My granddaughters passed the test and cannot wait for me to take them further remote next summer. They pried many stories out of me during our adventure but no worries, I have plenty more!

If you ever have the desire to join us on our unique adventures, just let me know!

KILLING THE WHAT IFS

November 22, 2015November 22, 2015 / Nicalady / Leave a comment

Around the table in Masatepe, Nicargua (Most of my children)

I was not afraid of moving my large family to a foreign country (Nicaragua) with no money and not even able to speak the language.

6 days and many buses to travel to Texas from Nicaragua

I was not afraid to take my 9 children by myself to Texas, traveling by public buses and crossing 5 countries.

I remember when my kids were small and we were living in Texas, I was a homeschooling mom. I discovered this great hands-on curriculum called Konos. I was so excited and I talked about it to all my friends. This was going to make such a difference. And then it sat and it sat. Months went by. What the heck! I was intimidated. I had no idea how to really use it, nor even how to begin. I think the big issue was one of those Stupid What ifs. Do you ever entertain those in your mind?? What if I fail? What if it doesn’t work? What if it proves to be a waste of time….WHO CARES!!

Flash forward hmmm say 20 years. I want to be a writer. I have it all figured out in my head. For years people have said to me, ‘you should be a writer’. I would answer them, ‘not yet, I don’t have time. But later…’ And now is the time. But I have a few ‘KONOS’ in my life. Like this blog – should I only write personal stuff? Should it just be about my travels? Maybe my family life? But what about Missions of Grace (MOG) and the amazing projects I am involved in? But can I mix the two? UGHHH WHO CARES?

I got to ride in a military Chinook to take disaster relief aid to remote Nicaragua

Did I fight fear of success or failure when I was invited to ride in the jump seat and deliver Hurricane Mitch relief supplies to the Rio Coco area of Nicaragua?? NO WAY! I jumped in without hesitation. It was amazing!

The other KONOS in my life is the ‘marketing’ or ‘public relations’ or ‘relationship building’ for MOG. I see it in my mind – I know I want it to be build on relationships. Amanda Palmer’s book “The Art of Asking” was such an inspiration to me. BUT, what if people don’t respond? What if people don’t take the time to even read my letters” What if I fail. ohhhh, there it is. What if I fail…

Javier Baldovinos and Great dog Shaka

What about you? Do you fight those awful ‘What ifs’ in your mind? Do you ever fret about success vs failure?

How about if we encourage each other??

JUST GET IN THE WATER!!

Have a great day!

THE BIRDS AND THE BEES, WHY NOT ME?

May 23, 2015 / Nicalady / 1 Comment

My wonderful children

I am moving in eight days, again. When I had all my kids at home (all ten of them) they used to love to shock people by telling them we have moved 19 times over the years. Am I military? you might ask. No, not at all. Then why would I move so many times, especially with such a large family. Good question and one that is too complex for me to delve into today, maybe I do not even understand totally.

But all that moving certainly did produce well-rounded people, with not much need for the security that comes with a ‘permanent home’ (is that maybe a bit of an illusion, anyway?). One of my comments used to be that I wanted my children to have their security inside of them, not in external circumstances. most of my kids are in their own homes. My youngest is at the stage that he has one foot in and the rest out, sort to speak.

I have a dream that I have been chasing for many years – building up a non-profit to help empower people who are helping others. Needless to say, this has created a lifestyle for me that is not too security-based. I am now 60 and I continue to believe and give and live for my passion, for my dream. I have to be out of my apartment in eight days and just found a place to sub-let yesterday. I act like I eat stress for every meal and enjoy the flavor, but lots of times my insides churn and I fight that enemy, anxiety.

BUT, I have been living like this for 40 years now (40 years!) and it appears that the older I get and the more my kids are independent, the more I feel driven to shed my ‘stuff’ and be free to keep trying to fly. One of the biggest struggles has been always, over the years, finances. Even freedom costs money. The lack thereof and the pressure produced by that lack tends to produce anxiety. Sometimes big, bad, ugly anxiety. How do I deal with this damaging enemy of mine?? I have faith in a higher being than myself. I believe in God and that He is directing and guiding my life.

I have this impression these days, and I might be wrong, that it might be more accepted for me to make known that I am gay (though I am not) than for me to announce that I believe in God and that I hear His voice and that I try to follow Him with a passion. My struggle with beginning to blog was this: do I hide my faith in the closet? I want to be accepted, I want to build my readership, I want people to read my words and I long to encourage people. So, do I hide the very thing that sustains me? I do not attend church but my faith and my belief that I am following divine direction keeps me a bit saner as I push through the brambles and thorns of life, to see people set free.

As I stated in the beginning, I am moving. And it is all very precarious at this point. I developed a migraine headache yesterday. A bad one – I thought, uh-oh, I know these signs, that stupid stress monster is rearing its ugly head and making me sick. I cannot sleep. So this morning, I turned to my Bible. I stopped. I got on my yoga mat. I stopped. I got quiet. I tuned in to something in me, yet so much bigger than me. I was led to John 14:1. “Let your heart not be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.” Then I opened a very old devotional book I had on my shelf – have not opened it for a long time. Opened to this: “do not worry about your life, what you shall eat, or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you will put on…” Matt. 6:25. For years and years and years, when I find myself out on a ledge once again – needing to jump and needing to believe that ‘He’ will catch me, I always have to come back to this same question. ‘Is my God real? Or am I crazy?’ And time after time after time after time, He has proved to me, He is real (and yes, I am a bit crazy).

So, here is my story, here is my song. The real one. The continuing saga of a simple woman, with ten kids and now 8 grandchildren, still determined that my God is real and that He cares for us and that we really can make a difference.

I Write Or I Starve

My Journey of Vulnerablity

#Divinelove