My heart is driving me. If giving up comforts can possibly equal helping even one precious family…

La Paz de Cristo – Rebuilding homes

I have skills, I have energy, I have desire and I want to believe in myself.  I was born in the 50’s, I grew up in the 60’s, so it was natural to question the ‘status quo’.  Did I want that?  Will that give me satisfaction?

Then in the 90’s I became a missionary.  Did that give me satisfaction?  I discovered that I did not fit that mold either.

But where I did find satisfaction was ‘with the people’. Riding my horse, carrying medicine into the hills, helping rebuild homes after a devastating hurricane in Nicaragua (see photo above).  The days I was ‘out there’, involved, bringing hope and love, that is where I fit.  Have I changed the world?  Not much, but I think I have helped change some lives, helped people begin to believe in themselves again, improved their quality of life at least a bit, and that is better than the remote control of my big TV, even better than a nice comfortable big bed (oh, but that is sooooo nice and I love it).

Sometimes when I am sitting in my Wagon, wondering where to go to work on my laptop, or wondering where to get a good cup of coffee without paying five dollars, or hesitating to humbly ask one of my kids for a space on their couch, again..I pause and think maybe I am just crazy.  But I believe.  Not yet enough in myself, but I believe that there is a God and He has called me, He has trained me and that I have work to do, work set aside for me.  If I do not step out and jump off this cliff of faith, the work will get done, but I will miss out, greatly.

I believe in people.  I very hesitantly believe that when I ask, the resources will be given and I can GO and DO and maybe some others will come with me and then they will begin to believe in themselves and they too will bring hope and they too will bring along others…

Just like when I used to have all my babies born at home – when people asked me about it, I always tried to be quick to say, ‘it is not for everyone’.  This too, is not for everyone.  But sometimes I get lonely, doing my thing, and maybe by writing about my journey, I can encourage you and then maybe you can encourage me!  I would love to receive feedback, I would love to hear what gives you satisfaction and i would even invite questions about what the heck I am doing….maybe this is a new way to have pen pals! (oh, did that show my age??)